Does a feeling of anxiousness come over you before you enter a room full of people you don’t know? Do you get that nervous feeling in the pit of your stomach? How do we learn to acknowledge and accept what we are feeling in the moment so we can be more present?
I was on my way to Miraval Spa Resort in Arizona for a weekend getaway with a group of women, most of whom I didn’t know. And I had this nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach. Something I always seemed to feel when I traveled or when I walked into a room where I didn’t know anyone. It was when I was packing that I began to inquire as to what this feeling was. What was I afraid of? Here I am on my way to one of the most prestigious resorts in the world to do nothing but relax and enjoy the quiet peacefulness that awaited me.
Little did I know this would be a trip that was so magical and would change my life forever. I was already on a path of Self discovery and becoming more and more aware of the contents of my own mind, for example noticing my thoughts as just thoughts and what was going on in my body, etc. On this day, I was determined to uncover the source of this anxiety or fear. As I posed a series of questions (as I have been trained to do), it finally came to me that I was afraid of the UNKNOWN. I don’t know if you are like me where I grew up feeling that I had to have the right answers to all the questions that I might be asked or, attempt to figure out every scenario of obstacles that may arise. Intellectually we may understand that it is impossible to do but experientially is another matter and we do it anyway. It is an exhausting exercise in futility and a waste of energy, until it isn’t. A hamster keeps going round and round on the wheel until it just drops from exhaustion. We as human beings don’t have to do that, there is another way. The Unknown is around us with each step we take and yet we make every attempt to know It and as quickly as we can so as not to be the Fool or unprepared.
So, this is what I did as I went on my trip to Miraval and during. I asked if I could accept that I didn’t know what was going to happen next. If the answer was NO, then I asked if I could accept NO. With each question and without force I accepted whatever answer came up. As I did this the YES’s began to replace the NO’s. What I experienced as I did this process whether No or Yes came up was that the fear around the Unknown dissipated and I felt more relaxed and Present. I did not try to force a Yes and I did not get upset when the answer was NO. I simply accepted where I was in each moment. Very, very powerful.
Miraval is not just your typical exclusive spa resort. They have programs and workshops for those that want to experience something deeper than just the spa services and the food, not that there is anything wrong with that mind you. It is an extraordinary place. Just so you know, I knew nothing about Miraval and all that it had to offer.
I decided I was going to participate in an exercise where each person is paired with a partner. One is blind folded and the other partner leads you through a course of unstable terrain and then you switch so each person has the experience. We couldn’t talk therefore the sighted partner must lead you through the course by giving agreed upon body signals at the beginning of the exercise. What this does is heighten your focus and awareness of the surroundings and induces Presence. Even if you try to anticipate what will happen next you can fall or injure yourself. You must allow yourself to be lead. That is a very big leap. (I don’t recommend this if you haven’t done some Work whether it be with a therapist or other discipline as it can bring up issues and traumas that lay dormant in the psyche. )
What did I take away from this trip to Miraval? More than I can express here I can assure you. However, as it pertains to the theme of this blog with regard to being Present and what may be in the way of truly Being with another whether in your personal life or business, I can certainly share. The two worlds between personal and business are not as separate as we pretend them to be.
Allowing for the NO is also YES. When we say YES and allow for the NO what is left is ease and acceptance of What’s So in every moment. It invokes Presence. In Presence there is joy in the UNKNOWN. There is nothing but the present. With every step we take in life whether it is just simply putting one foot in front of the other or opening to the world just beyond our front door we are faced with the UNKNOWN. This is all here say until you experience it for yourself.
When you get up in the morning and you are about to embark on your day of meetings or making phone calls, take a look inside and be aware of how you are feeling. Acknowledge whatever is there. Greet your day and those you meet by doing that simple little exercise of asking yourself if you can accept what is coming up right now or however you feel most comfortable about asking the questions. Let the answer you get be whatever it will be. You will be shocked and amazed at how more Present you become and how better able you will be to conduct business.
For more information on how Presence can be more available in your life please go to http://www.sherschoolofwisdom.org.
I hope you have enjoyed this blog and I welcome your comments and insights.
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